Hookd on Fonikks Wurked for Me

I always fall for the wrong guy. I was trying really hard to convince myself that I didn't love him anymore, but you know what? Thinking of him promising to change... thinking of him wrapping his arms around me... thinking of him kissing her... it all hurts so bad, and I know that I'm just lying to myself. Maybe I'm supposed to learn from this. You know, like Fate. And maybe I'll never get over him, but maybe he'll always be the standard for how I measure guys. If they're as good-looking as him, I'll be lucky. If they act like him, I'll be unlucky. And in love.

Damn falling for bad guys. Damn, damn, damn.

Tech was fun. Cori, Ali, and I watched Nick Pa. hammer his clock together. It was so funny. At one point, he stopped hammering, and just turned the hammer over and over in his hands, looking at it intently. He was whistling, I think, but at the distance we were at we couldn't hear it, and he looked like he was fascinated. It was priceless, and totally supports my theory that Nick's a Neanderthal. Sorry, Nick. I love you.

In science, Teach went psycho on Danny and I. I asked Danny later what he did, but he swears he did nothing. Hmmm. Anyway, supposedly Danny wasn't paying attention sitting next to me, and Teach freaked out on him and told him that she'd already told him not to sit there. Ummm, hello? You PUT him there. She moved him next to Sam, yelled at us both, and then returned fuming to writing notes. Whatev. We'll probably still sit together tomorrow.

Andrew wasn't in school today. Danny and I had to play together in band all day. ANDREW PLEASE COME BACK!!! I swear, that boy's going to give me a nervous twitch. Always poking me and stuff... Danny, Nick Pr. and Steve don't approve. Cool it. They'll go kung-fu on your rear end.

Math assessment tests tomorrow and Thursday. Eeep. It looks easy, though. I mean, how difficult can it be? It's on stuff that the Regents class is taking, and we've done that last year or so, so it should be good. I hope.

Lunch is always fun. Today I tried to stick Jess's orange peels down my bra to make me smell nice. I gave a dollar to Danny. Sorry, Holden, that was my last dollar before saving up.

I want to buy a new drum set. Andrew laughed when I told him the condition that my old one's in. I pouted. Humph. He suggested buying a new one. I agreed. So now I'm saving up my money until I can afford a $500 drum set. Huzzah. I haven't practiced in like two years because my dumb old one fell apart. I'm really anxious to get back on the set, and I don't want to do it in school because I'm so rusty.

I'm angry with Patrick. Grrr, Patrick. Me and Heather shalst hurt him badly. He doesn't care about the animals. He only cares about the animals. Which one is it? Actually, he only cares about the humans. Patrick, not a single humane organization receives federal funding. And how many organizations are there to help poor children and citizens? How many are nice and cozy in their cushy, government-smiled-upon spot? A whole lot, Pat. A whole lot.

I really like reading comments, folks. Write em. Write whatev. I don't care. Curse me off. It amuses me for about three minutes and twenty-six seconds. And believe me, that's long for somebody like me.

I'm revising what I said in the first paragraph. I can't love him anymore. Not if it will keep hurting me. Not if it will take control of my life. Not if I won't let him see me cry. And the tears keep coming as I write this. Oh, don't you understand how it is that you hurt me? I can't do anything without seeing his face. Please, just leave me alone. I don't want you here. I don't want to be just friends. I don't want to feel like an intruder into your life.

I don't want to cry anymore.